“We Were Good Until We Were Sh!t!”

These immortal words, penned by our captain for the day, Ed Watson, summed up our final day of the season both succinctly and accurately.

Our opponents for the last match of the 2014/15 season - The Reg Bartley XI - were an unknown quantity. No one could say for sure if they were any use but when you Google them they look like us - but more so. They too have their own branding. They've also got a busy website (for link: http://www.regbartleyeleven.com/), but busier. They are about as old as us - both the club and the players - but they seem to just play more. Twice as much in fact. This certainly meant they were keener than us. More ominously, it probably meant they were better than us.

We had in fact played in the nets with them early in the season, and they looked frighteningly useful. But we were subsequently reassured that they were their "A" team and this was their "social" side. However, that information wasn't entirely reassuring.

Based on the fact for once we were actually over-subscribed for the match by many of our best players, and sensing I was a tad out of my league, I decided to de-select myself as I had some conflicting commitments. However, I did serve for the first 10 overs or so as stand-in 12th man for my late fellow Welshman Mark Harvey who had accidentally taken a detour via the airport and got lost.

So I had the privilege of watching some of the best cricket the Mad Dogs have played all season. A devastating wicket on the last ball of the first over which left the off stump at 45 degrees to the ground was well deserved reward for a pace-ridden first over from Keith Spelman.

By the time Mr Harvey arrived and I took my leave, the Bartley XI were on 50-odd for 5 - one of those wickets being my own happy season swansong - yet another uncharacteristic catch, my second of the season! So at this point I must hand over to fellow scribe, Angus Hunter…

Thank you Gareth.

Our form in the field continued (apart from the obligatory dropped catch from your scribe for the day). The bowling was tight and backed up by some truly remarkable fielding that culminated in three given run outs and a fourth which was generously retracted by Sean Garvey following an on-field negotiation on the laws of cricket between the batsman and umpire. The first of these was particularly noteworthy for the leopard like reactions of Brendan Parry at mid-off whose direct hit ran out their best batsman (on the basis of crisply hit straight drive on the up from his first delivery) for a solitary run.

Some late hitting from our own Jeremy Goff, donated to the opposition for the day on the basis that he was unlikely to pose a major threat (ahem!) to his own team, which included his first ever 6 courtesy of a generous full toss outside by Billy Cutler. Billy had the last laugh though bowling Jeremy for exactly half of the Reg Bartley XI total of 104.

The “good” continued during our first innings with Billy Cutler making his customary 25 (though, by his own admission, with slightly less fluency than we are used to) and Messrs. Parry, Watson and Hunter all contributing at the top of the order. Indeed all but one of our batsman troubled the scorers to see us finish on a highly respectable 131 – 5. Again we were undone by our own, with Jeremy Goff taking a twofer and young Henry Lester bamboozling his seniors with his looping leg breaks to finish with 2 for 5 off his two overs.

And so we repaired to lunch, which was obviously enjoyed rather too zealously by all Mad Dogs, as we returned to the field after lunch with a noticeable drop in intensity. Wickets were hard to come by with only Young Henry, enthusiastically turning out for both teams, picking up a wicket. However some fine bowling at the death by Keith Spelman and Ed Watson restricted the opposition’s score to 120, leaving an entirely gettable target of 94 from our final 20 overs.

We started well enough, Sean Garvey and Tim Lester taking the score past 40 off 8 overs before Tim got fed up with Garvs hitting 14 successive singles (surely a record for Garvs) and retiring allegedly with a strained groin but equally likely through boredom.

All seemed to be continuing to go well with Keith Spelman taking up the charge to retire at 25 and the score on 69 from 13 overs but then ... the “sh!t” arrived. The opposition brought on their quicks. Their pace and accuracy proving too much for us all and Mark Harvey in particular who managed to go 14 balls without a run before holing out to mid on – much to both his own and the opposition’s annoyance. That left 17 runs to get off three overs. The opposition kept their quicks on and a succession of wickets fell to leave us needing 8 off the final over for victory. 3 off the first from Ed Watson gave us a shout but two balls later he was run out. This meant that a hobbling Tim Lester joined Billy Cutler at the crease with 3 required off the last ball. Despite a solid blow to the boundary and frantic cries of “Run them Up” from the pavilion, Tim’s groin was not up to the pressure and we fell short by one run.

And so we have to content ourselves with contributing to another exciting game of cricket. No glory. Just tales of what might have been and the odd light hearted recrimination. Congratulations to our victors on the day – though obviously you would not have won if we hadn’t supplied you with your best players!

Beers were enjoyed with the opposition afterwards where discussion centred on whether there was a reality television audience for the on-field dramas of a cricket club. If so then surely the Mad Dogs would be a prime candidate.

We wandered away from the Alan Davidson Oval for the final time this year nursing our aches and pains for the off-season. We shall reunite in full glory for the end of season dinner where the best and worst of our season will be re-called with wine inspired embellishment and for the inaugural Mad Dogs Cricket tour to Cairns, where it is rumoured that some cricket will be played amidst some heavy drinking. Mad Dogs – we know what we do best!

But as a final parting thought, I shall leave you with the instructions provided to this rookie scribe from his more senior colleague:

“I'll leave the headline to you as it needs to reflect the overall day. But for god's sake try and avoid anything to do with jaws and defeat and/or victory!”

Thanks Ed, for making this task a possibility!